We lost 38 stone between us

From a young gamer to a retired grandad, six men reveal how they shed the pounds and found a new lease of life

Be honest, are your trousers getting tighter? Are you still buying the same size but now wearing the waistband below your stomach? Join the club. 
Around one in four Britons are “obese” (with a body mass index of 30 or over) and a further 37.9 per cent are overweight (with a BMI between 25 and 30). It’s hardly surprising, then, that one in four Britons are currently trying to diet. And statistics tell us that men are more likely to be overweight than women. Sixty-nine per cent of men are carrying extra pounds, compared to 59 per cent of women. 
In midlife, most of us find it harder to lose weight and stay active. But try we all must because of the well-documented health risks for obesity including incidence of heart attacks and strokes, Type 2 diabetes and joint problems. Indeed, “coronary heart disease affects twice as many men as women and is the main source of heart attacks,” says Ruth Goss, a senior cardiac nurse for the British Heart Foundation (BHF). 
If you’re a man trying to lose weight, it’s not all bad news. Men generally tend to shed weight faster than women, at least initially. One study where a mixed-sex group followed an eight-week low-energy diet found that men lost 11.8 per cent of their body weight, compared to 10.3 per cent for women. 
Experts put it down to a few things. Firstly, the fact that men have more muscle mass than women (muscle burns more calories, remember). Men also tend to have faster metabolisms, and a higher aerobic capacity (VO2 max) meaning their workouts are potentially more efficient. 
So don’t panic if you fear you’re sitting on a ticking health time bomb. You can turn it around. But it might be time to decline that Full English or put down that second pint and be inspired by these men who lost weight and took charge of their health.
Harry Phillips, was shy and living on junk food until, at 24, he decided to get fit. Now he lives in West London and works as a personal trainer
Growing up, I was obsessed with video games. I was quite small for my age and got picked on. So while other kids were running around on pitches doing wholesome sports, I stayed inside in front of a screen.
The gaming lifestyle isn’t exactly healthy – I was spending days and nights glued to a screen drinking a two-litre bottle a day of full-fat Coke (because someone had told me the diet version was bad for you). I was also eating a lot of pizza, cheese on toast and fried food that could be eaten without needing to sit at a table with cutlery.
As I got older, although I wasn’t massively obese, I didn’t look great on the beach. It was during a family holiday at around 24 that I knew that something had to change. It wasn’t just the way I looked, but being forced to be away from video games while abroad made me realise that I just didn’t know what to do with myself without a controller in my hand. That was no way to live. 
I came home and discovered fitness. It was the perfect replacement for gaming as I could channel my competitive spirit and focus into the gym. 
I hired a personal trainer because at first I didn’t know where to start. The first time I set foot in the gym was one of the most daunting moments of my life. I felt everyone was staring at me, they all seemed so fit and confident. I kept frantically tugging my T-shirt down to cover my stomach, but my trainer was so kind and encouraging. 
Once you start working out regularly, it becomes natural to start thinking about the food you’re eating: you want to fuel your body the right way so you can exercise efficiently. I didn’t get it right initially. I read all sorts of conflicting advice and tried things like just eating chicken, rice and broccoli, which does make you lose weight. I probably lost 5kg in six weeks and I started getting strong in the gym, but it’s not sustainable.
When Covid hit I bought a squat rack from Argos and some weights so I could work out at home. But my healthy diet quickly went out of the window. I started eating sweets, crisps, relying on ready meals and eating takeaways for my evening entertainment. I was never much of a drinker, bar the odd pint of Guinness, but I made bad food choices.
When lockdown finally ended I was tipping the scales at 110 kilos (more than 17 stone). My heaviest weight ever and far too much for my 5ft 8in frame.
I had to get back in shape. I continued working out but ditched all the junk food and by May 2022 my weight was back under control at 82kg – and I haven’t let it slip since then. Being able to lift heavier weights was very motivating. The nicest thing is having people say “you’re looking really in shape, Harry, what have you done?” and it forces you to be more accountable. 
I feel more confident socially and while I used to hide under big baggy T-shirts, now I’m comfortable buying medium sizes and showing myself off more. It has taken quite a few years but it’s worth it. I’m currently single but I’d like to meet someone one day, and I’ve come a long way from the shy boy who was constantly tugging his shirt down.  
Breakfast: Cheese on toast or bacon in a bap
Lunch: Shop-bought ham and cheese pizza 
Dinner: Chicken fajitas or burger and chips
Drink: Two litres of Coke
Snacks: Sweets, Haribo, cookies
Breakfast: Omelette, granola, bacon sandwich
Lunch: Chicken and rice
Dinner: Steak and sweet potato with veg, pasta, fajitas
Drink: Diet Coke, orange juice, or caffeine drinks such as Monster Ultra (helps to keep me full) 
Snacks: Haribo, popcorn, protein yogurts
As told to Susanna Galton
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Steve Bennett, 58, from Warwickshire was an overweight chief executive heading for an early grave – until he revolutionised his approach to nutrition 
I was always sporty as a young man: I loved sailing and being outdoors – there was no spare fat on me. But I was ambitious, and while I put in long hours building up my jewellery business, the weight slowly crept on throughout my 20s. 
Business dinners in the Midlands were often Chinese or Indian with sticky sauces and a “carb-fest” of poppadoms, starters, naan breads and mountains of rice. Unsurprisingly by the time I hit my 30s I was 14 stone. My work was going great, I had about 500 employees and the company made it onto The Sunday Times fast-track top 100 companies in 2014. 
But I was pushing myself and getting terrible chest pains. Climbing up the stairs was a struggle as my weight had hit 15-and-a-half stone. Sarah, my second wife, was worried – as was I. The doctor said the heart pains were down to stress, and put me on a low-fat diet.
I began diligently trimming the fat off meat and cooking pasta in the evening instead of eating out. But it was doing very little for my waistline. 
Then, eight years ago, I had a bit of an epiphany when I went to a remote part of Kenya where I’d set up a charity. I was working alongside a Masai friend, Philip, and he’d watched me in horror pull on my trainers and go running, despite him warning me there were elephants circling our camp. That night Philip prepared a goat for us, and as I habitually trimmed the fat off my portion he looked puzzled. “Mr Steve,” he said. “You run like a crazy man, then you cut the fat off my goat: is this because you like to be a big fat Western man?”
I laughed and explained no, I did these things because I wanted to get a lean, warrior-like physique like him and his tribe. “Mr Steve,” he said. “It’s not working.”
It was like a penny dropping – he was right. When I returned home, I had another wake-up call: my beloved dad had been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, and my mum, Alzheimer’s. 
What’s more, Sarah and I also welcomed our final baby, Louie, now eight, to our brood. I was pushing 50: I did the maths and realised by the time Louie was 30, I’d likely be dead, the way I was heading. 
So I took a year off work and threw myself into fitness with the same drive that had helped me succeed professionally.
I ditched the low-fat diet and began making fibre the focus of every meal. Instead of crack-of-dawn exercise, I prioritised sleep. I stopped eating refined carbohydrates (which the body turns into sugar) and anything processed. 
I loaded up on vegetables, even for breakfast, starting the day with food such as spinach and tinned tomatoes, along with some eggs and bacon. I always ate the veg, before anything else. For lunch and dinner I’d make sure I ate a green salad or a bowl of broccoli before tucking into the meat. I wouldn’t ban all carbs, but I’d only eat them if I was still genuinely hungry. I drank a lot more water, but I still had three to four cups of coffee a day. 
In the first week I lost 7lb, and after a month I’d shed nearly a stone. 
Sarah loves the fact I don’t snore any more, though she teases me for my “builder’s bum” more because my trousers are looser!
I have enough energy to play with the family and be the proper dad and grandpa I always wanted to be. I have a fantasy of being 90 and teaching my great-grandchildren to kite surf on the beach. I am determined to make it happen.
Breakfast: Shredded Wheat with milk and sugar, large glass of orange or apple juice
Lunch: Cheese, ham or tuna sandwich 
Snack: Crisps or cake
Dinner: Pasta or baked potato loaded with baked beans
Alcohol: Half a bottle of wine with dinner
Breakfast: Two eggs, two rashers of bacon, tinned plum tomatoes and a handful of spinach
Lunch: Tangerine, tuna and avocado salad
Snack: Fruit or handful of nuts
Dinner: Braised venison and swede hotpot or tom yum soup
Alcohol: Two small glasses of wine with dinner
As told to Susanna Galton
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When Pete Mason lost his wife he started living on ready meals – until an unflattering holiday snap changed everything 
My world collapsed when I lost my beloved wife Kim to ovarian cancer in 2017 when she was just 59. We were happily married for 38 years and had been through so much together over the decades. The loss just felt shattering. Dealing with the grief, I stopped caring about myself, eating junk all day and drinking beer every night. 
Our family house just didn’t feel like home without Kim and I suddenly had all this time on my hands. I’d retired from the family structural engineering business by then, and our three children – Chris, 40, Scott, 38, and Mandy, 37 – had left home a long way back. Kim had always done all the cooking in our house. It might sound sexist, but I suspect many men of my generation are as hopeless in the kitchen as I was. Once she was gone I didn’t bother learning how to make nutritious meals for myself. Instead, I lived on chocolate biscuits and Marks & Spencer ready meals.  
When Kim was alive I was reasonably slim. But when she died, I lost my passions and let myself go, not caring how I looked. Then I met Ann, 65, who used to work in local government. She was a Welsh widow who had lost her life partner the year before too, also to cancer. We met through an organised social group for bereaved people. It was wonderful to have someone to enjoy life with again. It felt like a second chance at life – something to celebrate. 
It wasn’t until last year however, in 2023, when Ann and I went to Pembrokeshire, and she took a photo of me that I realised how old and fat I looked. I wasn’t feeling in great shape either. I went to the GP in August 2023 and was told my blood pressure was high. I weighed too much at 13st 10lb, and a blood test confirmed I was pre-diabetic. Major lifestyle changes were needed. 
The GP referred me to the healthy-eating plan Second Nature, which officially uses “behavioural science to retrain your mind”. It sounds fancy, but all it means really is getting more educated about food. And it was free on the NHS.
They sent me a pair of scales which connect to an app on my phone so I could track progress, as well as giving me access to an online dietician and chat forum. I made friends virtually, and now we support each other and swap tips. I had never dieted in my life but it didn’t feel hard because everyone was so encouraging.
Now on the programme, I have to make three meals a day, limit my cans of fizzy pop, and make an effort to drink seven glasses of water a day.
I’ve swapped pub lunches for salads and I’ve learnt how to make things like marinated chicken with chorizo and onion, or grilled ribeye steak with a jacket potato. I don’t like vegetables but have tried upping my fruit intake to balance this out. 
After the first week, I lost 4lb, and after one month I lost 10lb. After three months, I’d lost more, 1st 3lb, and now weigh 12st 7lb. I feel fitter, slimmer and younger than I have in decades. I have managed to stop diabetes from developing, my blood-sugar levels are reduced and my blood pressure is also under control. I feel like I’ve added a decade to my life expectancy.
My children and seven grandchildren are proud of their Grandad P, and Ann jokes it’s like she’s dating a new younger man. I’m so pleased I’m fit enough to enjoy it.
As told to Susanna Galton
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Josh Davies, 31, a former professional rugby player turned to alcohol and substance abuse as his sporting career came to an end
I had always been an active person. I started playing rugby aged four and from 17 I was playing professionally, first for Wales under-20s and then London Welsh. But three years ago I found myself walking into a rehab centre. My physical and mental health had plummeted as I started to use alcohol, drugs and fast food to cope with my low self-esteem. 
When I retired from rugby aged 24 I lost everything: my career and a long-term relationship. I was just Josh who worked in technology sales and I let myself go. The only compensation was that I was earning well. That felt good and I was able to indulge. 
My weeks consisted of long hours, meal deals, binge drinking and crippling hangovers on the weekend. Nobody batted an eyelid as I put on weight.
Unsurprisingly, my mental health declined. I became very anxious, and had no motivation to do anything outside of work. Alcohol was what I used to suppress my negative emotions. Drinking gave me the confidence I needed to socialise and helped me put on a front when I was meeting new people.
It was only when I met Aimee, my now fiancée and the mother of my two children, that I began to properly reflect on my bad habits. My alcohol and drug usage was totally out of hand. She gave me an ultimatum: either you sort yourself out or this relationship comes to an end. I went to rehab for a month and have been sober since. Cutting out alcohol and drugs was the catalyst for so many changes in my life.
During treatment, they warned me against exercising too much, knowing my addictive personality. Like alcohol, drugs, sugar and nicotine, even something as positive as exercise can become an obsession. But gradually, I found my way back into it. 
I started slow – lifting weights two to three times a week. After dropping 10kg, I began running. Now, exercise is a daily occurrence, whether it’s taking the dog out for a walk or resistance training or going for a run. 
Other than sobriety, being active is the number one thing that has benefitted my mental health. Exercise has always been my passion, but I lost it for a while and getting it back has been life-changing. After relying so heavily on processed food, I started to eat more whole foods. This was so much easier without alcohol. I wasn’t drinking empty calories or craving crisps, chocolate and takeaways.  
It hasn’t all been smooth sailing. I still have cognitive behavioural therapy, am currently getting tests for bipolar and attend AA and NA groups. There are friends of mine who I used to drink with that I don’t see as much of anymore. Going into environments where everybody is drinking can be tiring and I often find that the next day my energy levels are lower than normal. 
Now I have a close-knit group of friends who are also into fitness. We go for runs together and if I’m struggling I know they’re there for me. I’m a dad to two amazing children and want to set a good example. Alongside my partner, who was already in the fitness industry, we’ve started Omni Wellness Group. It offers personal training, online coaching, wellness retreats and meal plans. I want others to see how powerful good food and exercise can be to change your life. The happier and healthier I am, the better dad I can be. 
Breakfast: Coffee and a pastry 
Lunch: Meal deal consisting of crisps, sandwich and a fizzy drink 
Snack: Chocolate bar 
Dinner: Takeaway pizza 
Drinks: Guinness, wine and tequila with pineapple juice 
Breakfast: Overnight oats with berries and nut butter or smoked salmon with eggs and avocado
Lunch: Chicken with steamed broccoli and sweet potato 
Snack: Greek yogurt with honey and berries 
Dinner: Fish with salad
As told to Delphi Hayes
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Adam Henley, 51, a finance manager at Kettering General Hospital, had always struggled with his weight until the pandemic convinced him to look after himself or risk death
I was always the fat kid. Throughout secondary school, I gained a stone each year. At university, I was the fat lad. When I was 22, my dad passed away and I didn’t cope well. My mental health plummeted and my bingeing worsened. By the time I turned 25, I was 29 stone.
My relationship with food was incredibly unhealthy but it was the mid-1990s so I didn’t get the help I needed. I binged when I was sad, bored or tired. I binged to recover from the first binge and sometimes I binged just because I wanted to binge. I would even celebrate weight loss with food. I’d always start with a pack of six doughnuts. I had no concept of portion control. While a pizza was cooking in the oven, I’d be wolfing down crisps. This was something that I would only do in private – it’s not a spectator sport. In my day-to-day life, working as an accountant, I managed to maintain the illusion that I ate “normally”. 
Plus, despite my size, I stayed active. I was a member of my local swimming pool and gym and I’d go for walks. Although I was a poster boy for Type 2 diabetes, I didn’t have it. I wouldn’t call it body dysmorphia but I never saw myself as somebody who wore 68-inch trousers.
At my heaviest, I weighed 38 stone. Once you’re at that weight, it is impossible to lead a normal life. The plus-size shop in Birmingham didn’t stock anything above a 6XL, which was what I needed. Getting in and out of the car was a struggle and after a minor car crash, I couldn’t fit in the MRI machine, forcing me to live with neck and shoulder pain. I had to book aisle seats at the theatre and flights were agony. At the top of the Eiffel Tower, tourists asked to take a photo with me. Kids would stare. It was humiliating. 
I desperately wanted to live a normal life and, for a brief period, I did Weight Watchers. Failure was inevitable: I’d feel briefly triumphant after a weigh-in showed a loss. But on my way home, I’d buy junk food and fish and chips. 
Doctors prescribed me orlistat, a drug meant to reduce fat absorption, hoping it would help. I found ways to skirt around the side effects, so again my weight stayed the same. 
I decided 2020 was going to be my year – little did I know we were on the brink of a pandemic. I had just left my accountancy job at Barclays and was standing as a local councillor in May. Then the pandemic hit – and I realised that if I caught Covid I would probably die. It sounds dramatic, but it was time to make a life-or-death decision, so I went cold turkey. I walked around the supermarket, did my shop for the week and came home with a completely clean basket – no crisps, no doughnuts, no biscuits, no chocolate, no ice cream and no fried chicken. By the end of the first week I’d lost half a stone.  
At first, I had terrible migraines as my body fought against the sugar cravings. But it got easier. In the next month I lost a further stone. I went on an 18-week loss streak which was amazing because before I had been in a situation where I would lose a pound and then instantly binge and put it back on. By the end of 2020 I’d lost 4.5 stone. Now, although I’m still technically obese, I’ve lost over half my body weight – more than 20 stone. It’s been four years since I’ve had biscuits, crisps or doughnuts. Real change only happened once I decided for myself.
Everyone is thrilled for me. At my 50th birthday last year, over 100 people came to celebrate the new me. I sent out invites saying, “Half a century for half the man”. 
Friends who haven’t seen me in a few years walk past me in the street. The 38-stone me was easy to spot. Now, I can walk through crowds unnoticed. 
I used to be obsessed with food; now I’m obsessed with exercise. I average about two hours a day. I’d always been a part of Slimming World and it really helped me to make lifestyle choices. In 2023 I swam 900km. I was 13 when I last ran and then, 18 months ago, I started Couch to 5k. In May, I did my first half marathon and I’m hoping to do the London Marathon next year. Those are the sort of things I could only dream of when I was 34 stone.
Breakfast: Bacon and sausages with toast or a sugar-based cereal, such as honey nut cornflakes
Lunch: A selection of cold meats with fruit
Snack: Ice cream, fried chicken
Dinner: If doing well, barbecue chicken. If doing badly, pizza, garlic bread, crisps, chocolate and doughnuts. I’d also regularly get Chinese takeaways. What I ate always depended on my mood. 
Breakfast: Weetabix or Fruit’n’Fibre 
Snack: Banana after exercise 
Lunch: Pasta bake. Lots of fruit (apples, blueberries, oranges, pears)
Dinner: Chicken biryani
Snacks: Corned beef or seafood sticks 
As told to Delphi Hayes
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For Ryan Sobers, 43, becoming a father was the wake-up call he needed to get fitter 
Becoming a dad was a turning point for me. Watching my daughter, just 18 months old, I couldn’t help but think about our future together. I wanted to be there for her, to run and play without the burden of being out of shape holding me back. I was 128kg: something needed to change if I wanted to be around for her as long as possible.
Growing up in Barbados and being from an Afro-Caribbean background, I’m aware of the higher risk of Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease. I’ve seen family members struggle with these health issues so it’s always in the back of my mind as a reminder to take care of my health.
In 2020, Covid restrictions meant I was working from home and I fell into a sedentary routine. At my most active, all I would do was walk my daughter to and from nursery. I would drive to the supermarket and do absolutely no weight training or cardio. I found myself drawn to food delivery subscriptions, indulging in treats like gourmet hot chocolate night after night. I wasn’t into calorie counting or reading the back of boxes so I didn’t realise how many calories I was consuming. 
At first, I found lots of ways to convince myself that getting fit wasn’t necessary. The cost of a personal trainer seemed daunting and I wondered if I could achieve my goals independently. The idea of balancing workouts alongside the responsibilities of fatherhood, marriage and work also felt overwhelming.
It was my wife who pushed me to take the leap and invest in myself by getting a personal trainer. Back then, my waist was 42-44 inches; now it’s 32 inches. The trainer warned me that it would be a big change. I was going to have to follow a very low-carb diet with a focus on protein while exercising twice a week in the gym with the trainer and once on my own at home.
It took me a while to get to grips with the diet. My trainer opened my eyes, pointing out that even seemingly harmless meals like chilli con carne with kidney beans had too many carbs. The workouts themselves were also super challenging. There would be times when my legs would be so tired by the end that I would struggle to even walk up the stairs of the gym.
It might seem crazy but one of the biggest challenges they set me was getting a minimum of 10,000 steps a day. I had become so used to my sedentary routine and often ended up walking up and down my house in the evenings to reach the 10,000. Eventually, I learnt that small changes make all the difference and my average at the moment is consistently between 14-15,000 steps. I choose the stairs over the lift in the office. I often get off one stop earlier on the Tube. And I will, on every occasion, walk to the shop.
I lost 47.8kg in total. It was a gradual process that took about 58 weeks. I look at the whole transformation like a long car journey where the kids are going “Are we there yet?” but I wasn’t there. I knew there was more to lose and that I had to keep going. 
I knew I’d achieved it when at a one-off in-person meeting, a colleague asked me my name because she didn’t recognise me. When I explained that I was Ryan and showed her a photo of me before the transformation, she was gobsmacked. 
I’ve never seriously struggled with my confidence or self-esteem, but I’m proud I’ve been able to make such positive changes and stick with them for the first time in my life. It’s great to not only feel physically healthier but also experience mental benefits like increased focus and efficiency. 
Breakfast: Three to four slices of toast with avocado and green tea. A full English on weekends 
Lunch: Fried chicken and chips
Dinner: Oxtail stew with rice and steamed veg
After dinner: Hot chocolate
Breakfast: two eggs, lactose-free cheese, lean protein (sliced ham, chicken breast, fish etc), tomatoes (on gym days, add one to two slices of bread)
Lunch: White fish with salad or vegetables
Afternoon snack: High-protein yogurt with granola and berries 
Dinner: chilli with bulgur wheat and steamed veg
Drinks: one to two coffees with coconut milk (on gym days, mainly tea or only one coffee if I have a pre-workout drink containing caffeine), protein shake with creatine in the evening.
As told to Delphi Hayes
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